loneliness knows me by name.....

what a lonely person am i.......perhaps maybe..no,no..definitely maybe am no good for anyone...yeah..i have friends that always watch my back..family that always supports me,loves me....but,there is something that i feel like lacking from ma life...am not talking bout friendship,am not talking bout family's loves...but am talking bout ....................................... honestly who when they turned older,become matured doesnt feel the love towards others...it would be a lie if they come to ma face and spill it that way...i mean c'mon...at least u would feel just a little bit...there...same goes to me..i kinda like this person..am having a big...no,no..huge crush on this boy...since high school if am not mistaken....at first he shows his interest in me....but am shy...and i have my own stand which i cant tell here...he asked me to be his girlfriend .. and honestly,i was ECSTATIC...hehehe...but because of my dumb 'stand'....i denied him....for 2-3 years....hehe...stupid huh...yeah2...got it....i thought i can be his friend..but i was wrong...he's not like he used to be...he changed...and seriously,i dont know him..anymore...yeah people change but they wont be like him..hate,unfriend someone cause they rejected u...what a guy..eventhough he acted that way towards me,still am having a crush on him...and now am lonely cause am having crush on him,that i cant deny ma own feeling but he's no longer interested in me...well...i have to let the feel go...so that i can move on..find someone new...hurm...but loneliness is always looking for a friend...it found me once and have been around since then...why,why am i chosen..why am left without..the love of my dream,the love that i want....loneliness is cruel and knows me by name